First of all, just talking about relapses can be dangerous because once the thought of slips enters the mind it is difficult to get rid of it, and you unconsciously will it to happen. Have you heard the story of a boy trying to learn cycling? He was so scared of hitting against the stone on the road that on a wide road he saw only the stone and banged right into it.

So, it’s best to underplay the possibility of relapses. Don’t allow for any 'slips', 'just ones' or any 'accidents' for that matter. You should plan for the positive steps rather than the slips, because, if you plan for slips or accidents, you are more likely to have one. It is more encouraging to tell yourself that there will be no allowance for moments of weakness.

Having said that, it does happen, so here is what I recommend you do. Chastise yourself until you feel completely guilty. Realistically I don't have to tell you this part because you will automatically do it to yourself anyway. Then once you have raked yourself over the coals, contact your support group (you do have a support group, don't you?) and let them know what has happened. Use their strength to rebuild your resolve.

If by chance you have had more than one 'slip' or have repeated 'slips', it is time to be honest with yourself. I know that a lot of people are going to disagree with me on this, but please don't send me any letters because I have probably spoken to more smokers and non-smokers about this subject than most people. My advice is this. Stop trying to fool yourself into thinking that these occasional slips are fine and are just part of the normal quitting process - they aren't!

But, change your strategy this time around. First prepare yourself with as much information as possible. Make a note of your strengths and weaknesses. Use your strengths to your advantage and learn to handle your weaknesses. You will find ample information on the net. Study it with a view to tackling your specific problems. If you go about it the right way, you will not only succeed in achieving your goal of quitting smoking, but you will do it in record time.

If continual slips are occurring, you are better off to realize what is happening and admit to yourself that you have failed this time. And that's okay, because it is better that you admit it, write this attempt off, and go back to finding the information and incentives you need to quit successfully than to relapse slowly back into oblivion. Better to realize that you have missed your target this time around and get back on a new and better course than to continue on smoking for the next twenty years.

Be strong, stay strong and be Free!

Darren Warmuth

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